Alumni and Community Members

The Office for Religious and Spiritual Life assists members of the university community in planning and officiating memorial services. Memorials can be held at Stanford University for the following groups of people: 

• Current Stanford students, faculty and staff, and alumni, and their children or spouses/partners.
• Current and former trustees of the university, their children or spouses/partners
• Retired Stanford faculty and staff or former Stanford University employees with at least five years of service and a sustained connection to the university.
• Long-standing congregants at University Public Worship known to the Office for Religious Life clergy.
• Members of the university Catholic community, known to the Catholic campus clergy.

In keeping with the wishes of Jane Stanford, we are unable to have caskets or urns inside Memorial Church. Consequently, we are unable to hold funerals in Stanford Memorial Church. Funeral services differ from memorial services in that these services occur soon after death and often include a blessing or commendation over the remains of the loved one.

 A memorial service may occur weeks or months following a death and is opportunity for a community to grieve, remember, and celebrate the life of the loved one together. Memorial services generally are no more than an hour in length and may include a series of reflections, readings, and musical selections.

Memorial services at Stanford University are planned and officiated by ORSL in coordination with family members. Most alumni and university-community memorials are held in Memorial Church, but other campus locations also are possible. For full guidance on a service in Memorial Church, please click here. 

People planning a Stanford memorial service can contact ORSL via this form or by emailing religious-life@stanford.edu. A member of our staff will respond to your request and set up a time to meet with you and begin planning the service.

Checklist for Planning a Memorial Service

• Contact the Office for Religious and Spiritual Life
• Determine location: 
  • Memorial Church is available for all memorial services and can accommodate a large gathering. Sometimes families and friends prefer to hold memorial services in spaces that resonate more with the grieving community. 
  • As you contemplate a location, you will want to be mindful of the number of people who might attend so you can ensure it can accommodate people of all abilities. Locations should have ample seating, accessible pathways, and capacity for amplified sound. You may consider privacy and public access as well in choosing a location. 
  • ORSL will work with you to secure a location based on your preference and the availability of campus spaces.
• Choose Date and Time: 
  • Memorial services generally occur soon after an off-campus family funeral to allow the family time to grieve. Because grieving is hard, most memorials take place in the early to late afternoon to provide time and space for those gathered to be with one another after the service. 
  • Services can be emotionally difficult, so memorials are generally planned for an hour in length with a reception following. This allows time and space for people to be together, to share remembrances, and find comfort and support in one another.
• Develop a Service Program: 
  • ORSL will work with you to create a loving and meaningful service of remembrance that allows space for grieving and for honoring and celebrating the life of your loved one. Most memorial services include a series of readings, reflections, and music that reflect and celebrate the life of the loved one. 
  • The readings and music provide contemplative space and a pause from the immediacy of grief often expressed in reflections from family and friends. 
  • Here is a sample service:
    • Gathering Music
    • Welcome
    • Reading
    • Reflections from friends and colleagues
    • Reading or Musical Reflection
    • Reflections from friends and colleagues
    • Reading or Musical Reflection 
    • Reflections from friends and colleagues
    • Closing
    • Musical Postlude
• Reflections:
  • Memorial services often include reflections from friends and colleagues. Most memorials include speakers who can represent the various communities the loved one was a part of. 
  • Memorials generally include 3 to 5 speakers. Each reflection is 3 to 5 minutes in length to allow others time to speak. 
• Things To Consider: When planning the memorial with ORSL staff, you may want to think about the following, and we can help with you with the details:
  • Video Reflections: Sometimes families and communities will compile a video tribute of their friend that includes a musical montage of photos. 
  • Creating Ritual Space: Memorials often include a small visual center near where speakers speak. This might be a large photo of the deceased, a candle, flowers, or other symbols that represent the life of your loved one.
  • Recording the Service: Sometimes people wish to record the memorial to share with those who could not be present.
  • Reception: Many families wish to hold a reception following the service to gather informally, share stories, and connect with one another. Receptions generally include light refreshments such as cookies and lemonade or coffee. Memorial Church is not available for receptions. However, many families choose to host a reception at the Stanford Faculty Club, and they should contact the Faculty Club.